Not sure where to go

November 2, 2009 at 11:23 am | In General Thoughts, being guided, wise self | 2 Comments
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It’s been awhile since I last wrote.  Eight months.  Feels almost like a lifetime, but not quite.

I’ve been mulling something lately, wanting to gain courage for a “thing” that’s calling me.

And my stuff has come up in the process.

Fear.

And I’ve looked this fear in the eye for the better part of a month.  I’ve looked at it from every angle…I’ve asked for it to leave, I’ve done my best to outsmart it.  But it’s still there.

How do I know?  Because I haven’t yet taken action.

Why? Because I’m still waiting to feel entirely right.

Not just mostly right, but entirely right.  I’ve been waiting to be fearless.

This “thing” that I’m mulling is a book collaboration with a new, dear friend.  And the notion to collaborate is coming from a place deep within.  It’s coming from a place that continues to call me, despite the layers of fear that are doing their best to get in the way.

What I’m realizing, in this moment, is that fearlessness is not about removing those layers.  It is simply about having the faith that when I move from my heart, the outcome is exactly as it’s meant to be.

My only job right now is to allow this inner calling to Be.  The simple act of allowing is all that I’m meant to do.

That’s it.

From there, what will be will be.

I have not written in 8 months.  Two hours ago I quietly requested a sign – a gentle nod that it was time to allow this “thing” flow through me, unhindered.  When I sat at my computer a moment ago, I had an email awaiting me.  A reader had stumbled upon my inactive-for-8-months blog, and was asking me to post more.  And when I logged into this account, my last (and forgotten) comment was the same: write more, please.

So here I am, smiling at the beauty of it all – and writing more.

I started this entry with no idea what was going to come through me.  And now, the title “Not sure where to go” is obsolete…for now I know precisely where to go……….

All I need to do is listen carefully enough to hear.

February 11, 2009 at 6:08 pm | In General Thoughts, being guided | 2 Comments
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I’m finally back from the Ether.  I spent the weekend at a certification course for Energy Coaching.  Coming from the space/life-view of an Energy Healer, it was a 3-day immersion into energy-speak and energy-centering.  Tremendous, really.

We did an activity in which we were blind-folded, and a partner was guiding us verbally toward a goal…but couldn’t give real directions.

With that in mind, here’s what happened behind that blindfold of mine:

Right away I have a sense of which way I’m meant to go. So I strike out in that direction (it’s exactly opposite from where I’m starting…so true for my life).

So off I go. After a handful of tentative steps, I bump into a block. I say, “Hmmm…just bumped into a block,” to which my guide responds, “That’s okay, it just shows you that you’re moving.”

Wow.  Wow.

Okay, so I shift direction a bit. And my guide quickly, but gently, asks if that is really the right direction for me.  This is, of course, a signal that I’m not going the right way. So I change course again, and again my guide wonders aloud if there is perhaps another path for me to be on.

And it occurs to me, “wow, this is so very much the way I go through the world…I just kind of zig-zag back and forth, never in a direct line.”

It’s a sad realization, because it feels so inefficient, and I think about how much time and energy I’m wasting on an indirect route.  If only I could know my direction, rather than having to move blindly, I would be there already.

Then, as if on cue, my guide once again softly suggests that there might be a better way for me.

And then the big Aha!-moment happens.

I realize that I am being guided,

every step of the way,

and all I need to do is listen carefully enough to hear.

And now, each new direction I turn, I hardly take a step at all before I understand – from my guide – whether or not it is my right way.

And suddenly, in what feels like a heartbeat, I’m there.

I’ve reached my goal.

This teaching had nothing to do with the original intent of the exercise.

But then, that’s the whole point of Energy Coaching: to guide a person as they discover for themselves exactly what it is they need to know.

Again, I say wow.

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