And the beat goes on – Day 12

January 19, 2009 at 9:09 pm | In 21 Days to 21 Minutes, General Thoughts, creative healing, faith, meditation | Leave a Comment
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Well, Day Twelve was no easier than Day One.

For some reason I was under the impression that by now I would feel some sort of progress…you know, see some return on my investment.

Alas, that does not seem to be the case.  I’m still hopeful, though, and here’s why:

In my writing and teaching about Creative Healing, I’m always struck at how often the idea of non-linear-ness comes to me.

For a few years I’ve led groups through a book called The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron.  There’s a daily exercise in the book called the Morning Pages, where you write free-form 3 pages first thing every morning – no thought goes into it, just total stream of consciousness.

People often think that after writing the pages for a week or two their lives will instantaneously turn around. And they get frustrated when it doesn’t happen that way.

In my infinite wisdom, I know the folly in such thinking.

These changes you’re seeking, I say, are non-linear.

Yes, change will come, I say – but it won’t be immediate, and it likely won’t be what you’re expecting.

The important thing, I say, is the act itself.  It’s the commitment, the daily return to your internal self.

Ultimately, I say, it’s an act of faith. One must continue this practice without proof, without understanding, without cause and effect.

Oh, how easy it is to see outside of ourselves.

But I’ll take this reminder – this thing I can see so clearly for others – as a gift for myself today. I will continue my practice on faith alone, on knowing that this is a path toward a peace that I hold so dear.

And the beat goes on….

Just nod if you can hear me… – Day 8

January 15, 2009 at 8:00 pm | In 21 Days to 21 Minutes, creative healing, meditation, soul | Leave a Comment
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I’ve decided to make a rule for myself: anything that comes to me during my 21 Minutes is prohibited from this website. Why? Because I keep coming up with the most charming, the most witty, the most insightful thoughts imaginable…all while I’m trying desperately to not have any thoughts at all!

So there – new rule in effect immediately.

With that said, I had a really neat experience today during my 21 Minutes. I realized – once and for all – that it’s really, really difficult to stop my thoughts.

Yeah, I knew that already.

Okay, so I guess the realization was that it’s fine to use another route to mind-less-ness.  For me, this other route is to actually focus my attention really tightly, instead of trying to have no attention at all.  Make sense?

In my guided meditation CD he suggests we focus on our breath. That works for me for the first 5-10 minutes, that time during which I’m flittering around between thinking and letting go.

(Note: I also discovered today how marvelous it is to gently guide myself back from thought, without getting disappointed or frustrated.)

But after 10 minutes, once I’ve finally struck a slower internal pace, I need something more than breathing to focus on.

One of the thing that works sometimes is what I call the Falling Asleep Thing: the idea here is to hold a feeling, a sensation, in your being…as you’re falling asleep, or in this case, as you’re meditating. Let’s say the feeling is “joy.” You would imagine the sensation of joy filling each and every part of your being, from your toes to your elbows to your ears. It’s not that you’re thinking a joyous thought or remembering a joyous time (although these may, at first, help you find the sensation of joy) – but you’re fully feeling joy.

That’s a tremendous activity, especially if you’re trying to invite changes in your life.

But……………..…it’s not what’s been working best for me in my 21 Minutes.

No, the best thing I’ve found is to focus on my energy, my chi. I very deliberately focus my full attention on each chakra, moving from one, to the next, to the next. At each one, I physically feel the sensation of unwinding, opening, and expanding.

And then I start to drift, and I stay with how that drifting feels.

I don’t think about how the drifting feels, I feel how it feels.

And this is what begins to take me out of my mind…because it takes me so fully into that other part of my being that isn’t my mind at all.

This is where I find deep peace.

So, to those of you doing this along with me, may you free yourself in your practice to find what works for you.

Make sense?

Just nod if you can hear me….

Today I will see soul in the ordinary…

January 6, 2009 at 4:34 pm | In creative healing, soul | Leave a Comment
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Today I will see soul in the ordinary.

Wishing, waiting and hoping for soul

to be hand delievered to me,

tied up in a neat little ribbon,

and read to me like a report

will not bring me closer to my soul experience.

- Tian Dayton, “The Soul’s Companion

Soul experience. Experience.  That’s the word that sticks with me here.

I know it’s about experience, about feeling – but that doesn’t make it easy.  Far simpler to think or talk or read or philosophize about soul.

Easy to know, tough to do.  Insight is immediate…change is glacial.

Even though I know the value of being still, even for a moment every day, I still find it painfully difficult to commit to. Why is that?  Why is it that despite all I read and know and write and talk about stillness and balance, I cannot seem to make a real practice of it?

In part because when I try, I don’t get the immediate reward.  In other words, I’m not instantaneously Zen.  Instead my mind keeps jumping here, there, and everywhere.  So I get frustrated and feel like a failure.  I don’t like feeling like a failure (who does), so I just drift from trying again any time soon.

It’s kind of like wanting to run a marathon, deciding to go for it, and only being able to run a mile my first day out.  At that point, a full 26.2 seems absurdly impossible. So I go back to non-running.

I know this is an impractical way of looking at it. I know I need to commit, and have patience, and all that noble stuff.  But let me be honest here – I’m not always that noble.  Instead, I’m human.

I suspect I’m not alone here.

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Tomorrow I’ll write about Creative Healing.  I’ve been teaching classes on it for a few years now, and am in the process of writing a book on it.  Creative Healing is about the ways we can experience soul without having to sit in utter stillness.

Clearly it calls to me…

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