A Matter of Time – Day 19

January 27, 2009 at 4:00 pm | In 21 Days to 21 Minutes, General Thoughts, meditation, soul | Leave a Comment
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I’ve come to realize that I have indeed formed a new habit.

This 21 Day thing worked.

I’m not really interested anymore in writing about the 21 Minutes themselves.  That’s not the point.

And that comment, right there, is the biggest signal that a change has occurred.  When I began the 21 Days it was all about what happened during the 21 Minutes.  Now, it’s about a stillness that happens many times throughout the day.

That there is another signal – the fact that I’m remembering to connect at random points in the day – to center my energy with a greater stillness, a deeper understanding, a broader trust.

I have wanted, for so many years, to have the gift of remembering to center frequently.  It’s one thing to center when I’m reading a spiritual book, or writing, or having a deep conversation, but to remember to do it when I’m driving down the street or doing dishes – well, that’s a new, and very welcomed, change for me.

So yes, the stillness I sought from the meditation practice…it has become a habit. I won’t pretend that it’s an ever-present stillness.  But it’s certainly a place I visit far more often than I ever have before.

And while nothing strikingly obvious has changed in my outer world, I can feel that things have shifted within.

The outer stuff -which, after all, is merely a reflection of what’s going on internally – is only a matter of time.

Thoughts – Day 16

January 23, 2009 at 2:53 pm | In 21 Days to 21 Minutes, General Thoughts, Source, living your dream, meditation, soul | Leave a Comment
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I have to admit that I have some pretty high aspirations.  They have to do with saving the world – not single-handedly (I’m not quite that…um, I don’t have a word for it) – but certainly I plan to play a significant role in turning this ship around.

At least, that’s how it is when I’m feeling aligned with something greater than myself…when I’m feeling my connection to that thing that made the Amazon River, and Saturn, and endless forms of snowflakes and sunsets and waves, and…well, the list goes on to the most mind-boggling things imaginable.  When I’m aligned with that, then I don’t have an iota of doubt that I can live my dreams.

In fact, those things make my dreams seem pretty humble.

“No one can deny you anything. Only you deny it through your vibrational contradiction.” From Abraham.

In other words, as long as my vibration – my internal energy and mental/emotional focus – is on what I can do, then the sky is the limit.

Not even – there is no limit.

I want to end with a teaching that my Coach, Stephanie Marisca Straight, received when she sat down for her 21 Minutes:

Stillness is the Source of your origin
Stillness is the place where you have been birthed
Stillness is your original nature
Stillness is the remembering of the self
Stillness is the grandness of all Beingness
Stillness is within you all that is complete and Divine.
Stillness is your source of all life.
There is no way really in your language or stream of understanding to explain this in it’s magnitude – it is vast, broad, exciting – filled with love and joy. It is the merging of oneness.

The merging of oneness. That’s what my 21 Minutes does – regardless of how the actual 21 Minutes go. Speaking of which, it’s early and I haven’t done them yet today. But I will – and I have no doubt it will be good.

Love that casts a widening pool of light – Day 13

January 20, 2009 at 8:59 pm | In General Thoughts, a better world, faith, soul, truth | Leave a Comment
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“On the brink, on the brim, on the cusp — praise song for walking forward in that light.”

From the Inaugural poem by Elizabeth Alexander

The light she’s referring to is, as she says, the mightiest word: “What if the mightiest word is love, love beyond marital, filial, national. Love that casts a widening pool of light.”

I am struck and filled and overflowing with a sense of awe. This language, these things of which I’ve been thinking, feeling, teaching, writing – they’ve found an audience with the world.

Clearly I’m not the first to use these words. But I do often feel…well, that many consider me a bit of a…hippie-freak, or what others would call a heathen. I wouldn’t say I feel misunderstood, but I certainly don’t feel as though I’m swimming with a very big school of fish.

And by my nature, the sense of swimming against the crowds is fairly uncomfortable. And expressing any level of faith, let alone a strong one, using strong words, in public…well, it’s taken no small amount of courage, and faith (!), for me to do it.

I find myself choosing my words carefully when talking with “normal” people, catching myself when I begin to speak of a person’s energy, or the energy exchanges I so frequently witness within a given situation.

But Ms. Alexander did not filter her words for “normal” people.  She wrote and spoke them straight from her heart.

I’ve been thinking about this lately, before today’s events.  How can I ask to become more connected, when in the next breath I apologize for my connection? How can I invite openness, as a healer, to those healing powers that are not mine at all but are something much greater than me, and then in the next moment make a disclaimer about my openness?

In doing this, I’m holding myself back.  When I look at the people I most admire, they are the souls who know their inner light and do not attempt to dim it.  They do not worry that others around them may not understand.  They are the ones who let their light shine out of them just as brightly as it has come into them.  This is precisely why I so deeply admire them.

Today’s Inaugural Ceremony was steeped, for those who were listening, in the language of Spirit. As the President himself wisely noted, we need not split hairs about the name of this spirit: “For we know that our patchwork heritage is a strength, not a weakness. We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus, and nonbelievers.”  No, we need only to invite that spirit into our daily lives.

We are on the brink, the brim, the cusp, as Ms. Alexander pointed out. I, for one, am ever-more committed to playing my part in bringing this deep, unearthly love, this widening pool of light, to the fore.

I will let my light shine, and I will not make apologies for it.

Look within, thou art the Buddha – Day 10

January 17, 2009 at 8:50 pm | In 21 Days to 21 Minutes, General Thoughts, meditation, soul | 3 Comments
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Ehhh, I can’t say a whole lot about today.  I spent the better part of an hour sitting in silence, with my 1.5-year-old sleeping on me…and while it was a lovely experience, there wasn’t really any meditation involved.

For moments here and there I was able to focus on the beauty of his breathing – of his lungs taking in air, time and time again. But more than disappearing into that feeling of love, I found myself instead being grabbed by that timeless Mother’s Fear – that drowning sensation that comes with the thought, “how I would ever survive if I ever lost him.”

It amazes me that overnight, just by being born, these kids of mine raised the stakes of life higher than I ever could have imagined.  I once jumped out of an airplane; rode atop a chicken bus at impossible speeds around even more impossible curves in the middle of nowhere Guatemala; traveled into the Amazon, alone, with about 30 words of Portuguese to my name, and swam in rivers there where the daily catch included fish with fangs!

Now? Not a chance.

You could say it was just the brazenness of youth, and perhaps there’s something to that.  But far more than youth changing my brazenness, it was these two little munchkins. The value of their life is……unspeakable, really. And somehow that has translated into the value of all life, my own included.  (Plus, I’ll admit, that brazenness of youth has dimmed in me a fair bit on its own accord!)

Hmmmmm….I really didn’t mean to go down that path.  Not so uplifting.  But real, so I’ll keep it there.

Switching gears though……..

There’s a little something I want to share today – I read it the other day, and it called to me enough that I immediately wrote it down:

“The Kingdom of heaven is within.” – Christianity

“He who knows himself, knows the Lord.” – Islamic tradition

“Look within, thou art the Buddha.” – Buddhism

“God dwells within you as you.” – Siddha Yoga

Religions vary, but the underlying message couldn’t be clearer. The purpose of all religion is to help you remember yourself as true Love, and to know that the Almighty is not far away but within. Religion is a path to understanding that we are united with [Source].

From Relax, You’re Already Perfect by Bruce D. Schneider

I’ve heard it said lots of ways, and have tried to say it lots of ways myself.  But this, for some reason, struck me as very, very clear.  Or perhaps it just means that I myself have become very clear about it all?…

Just nod if you can hear me… – Day 8

January 15, 2009 at 8:00 pm | In 21 Days to 21 Minutes, creative healing, meditation, soul | Leave a Comment
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I’ve decided to make a rule for myself: anything that comes to me during my 21 Minutes is prohibited from this website. Why? Because I keep coming up with the most charming, the most witty, the most insightful thoughts imaginable…all while I’m trying desperately to not have any thoughts at all!

So there – new rule in effect immediately.

With that said, I had a really neat experience today during my 21 Minutes. I realized – once and for all – that it’s really, really difficult to stop my thoughts.

Yeah, I knew that already.

Okay, so I guess the realization was that it’s fine to use another route to mind-less-ness.  For me, this other route is to actually focus my attention really tightly, instead of trying to have no attention at all.  Make sense?

In my guided meditation CD he suggests we focus on our breath. That works for me for the first 5-10 minutes, that time during which I’m flittering around between thinking and letting go.

(Note: I also discovered today how marvelous it is to gently guide myself back from thought, without getting disappointed or frustrated.)

But after 10 minutes, once I’ve finally struck a slower internal pace, I need something more than breathing to focus on.

One of the thing that works sometimes is what I call the Falling Asleep Thing: the idea here is to hold a feeling, a sensation, in your being…as you’re falling asleep, or in this case, as you’re meditating. Let’s say the feeling is “joy.” You would imagine the sensation of joy filling each and every part of your being, from your toes to your elbows to your ears. It’s not that you’re thinking a joyous thought or remembering a joyous time (although these may, at first, help you find the sensation of joy) – but you’re fully feeling joy.

That’s a tremendous activity, especially if you’re trying to invite changes in your life.

But……………..…it’s not what’s been working best for me in my 21 Minutes.

No, the best thing I’ve found is to focus on my energy, my chi. I very deliberately focus my full attention on each chakra, moving from one, to the next, to the next. At each one, I physically feel the sensation of unwinding, opening, and expanding.

And then I start to drift, and I stay with how that drifting feels.

I don’t think about how the drifting feels, I feel how it feels.

And this is what begins to take me out of my mind…because it takes me so fully into that other part of my being that isn’t my mind at all.

This is where I find deep peace.

So, to those of you doing this along with me, may you free yourself in your practice to find what works for you.

Make sense?

Just nod if you can hear me….

21 Days to 21 Minutes

January 8, 2009 at 3:31 pm | In a better world, living your dream, soul | 6 Comments
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So, here’s the deal. I’m about to start a journey. Want to join me?

The details are thus: for the next 21 days I will sit in silence for 21 minutes each day.

Here’s why:

“I know that I will benefit deeply from a regular practice of sitting in silence, of letting the boundaries of me dissolve.

As they go, I enter into sacred space, I merge myself with Source.  In this space I find peace, strength, love.  In this space my energy becomes centered.  In this space I deepen my gift as a healer.  In this space I improve my daily life.  In this space I take broad leaps toward my soul’s dreams.  In this space all things are possible.  The more time I spend here, the more magical my life becomes.

And as I emerge from this space, I carry with me the peace, strength, and love from which I was immersed.  From here, it moves to all that is around me – those who I touch directly and those who I will never meet.

I commit to this practice as a way of committing to soul.”

If you – or anyone you know – would like to join me on this journey, please do!  I will write about it daily, and I invite you to share your experiences on this blog too.

As we open ourselves, so too opens the world…

Today I will see soul in the ordinary…

January 6, 2009 at 4:34 pm | In creative healing, soul | Leave a Comment
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Today I will see soul in the ordinary.

Wishing, waiting and hoping for soul

to be hand delievered to me,

tied up in a neat little ribbon,

and read to me like a report

will not bring me closer to my soul experience.

- Tian Dayton, “The Soul’s Companion

Soul experience. Experience.  That’s the word that sticks with me here.

I know it’s about experience, about feeling – but that doesn’t make it easy.  Far simpler to think or talk or read or philosophize about soul.

Easy to know, tough to do.  Insight is immediate…change is glacial.

Even though I know the value of being still, even for a moment every day, I still find it painfully difficult to commit to. Why is that?  Why is it that despite all I read and know and write and talk about stillness and balance, I cannot seem to make a real practice of it?

In part because when I try, I don’t get the immediate reward.  In other words, I’m not instantaneously Zen.  Instead my mind keeps jumping here, there, and everywhere.  So I get frustrated and feel like a failure.  I don’t like feeling like a failure (who does), so I just drift from trying again any time soon.

It’s kind of like wanting to run a marathon, deciding to go for it, and only being able to run a mile my first day out.  At that point, a full 26.2 seems absurdly impossible. So I go back to non-running.

I know this is an impractical way of looking at it. I know I need to commit, and have patience, and all that noble stuff.  But let me be honest here – I’m not always that noble.  Instead, I’m human.

I suspect I’m not alone here.

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Tomorrow I’ll write about Creative Healing.  I’ve been teaching classes on it for a few years now, and am in the process of writing a book on it.  Creative Healing is about the ways we can experience soul without having to sit in utter stillness.

Clearly it calls to me…

Nugget of insight

January 3, 2009 at 6:35 pm | In soul | Leave a Comment
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I often stumble upon things that I want to share with others. Nuggets of beauty or insight…

Running after soul only makes it elude me.

Not because of the act of running,

but because of seeing it as somewhere other than where I am.

- Tian Dayon, “The Soul’s Companion”

In case you haven’t noticed, I’ve had a surge of inspiration lately with this blog (two posts in one week!).  I want to turn turn it into something that brings  magic into others’ lives. So why not, I thought, add these nuggets of beauty to this page.

(Note: I’m well aware that I’ve not received any questions from my last post…but I’m also well aware that I’ve not sent this link to anyone in eons!  Soon…)

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