Today I will see soul in the ordinary…

Today I will see soul in the ordinary.

Wishing, waiting and hoping for soul

to be hand delievered to me,

tied up in a neat little ribbon,

and read to me like a report

will not bring me closer to my soul experience.

– Tian Dayton, “The Soul’s Companion

Soul experience. Experience.  That’s the word that sticks with me here.

I know it’s about experience, about feeling – but that doesn’t make it easy.  Far simpler to think or talk or read or philosophize about soul.

Easy to know, tough to do.  Insight is immediate…change is glacial.

Even though I know the value of being still, even for a moment every day, I still find it painfully difficult to commit to. Why is that?  Why is it that despite all I read and know and write and talk about stillness and balance, I cannot seem to make a real practice of it?

In part because when I try, I don’t get the immediate reward.  In other words, I’m not instantaneously Zen.  Instead my mind keeps jumping here, there, and everywhere.  So I get frustrated and feel like a failure.  I don’t like feeling like a failure (who does), so I just drift from trying again any time soon.

It’s kind of like wanting to run a marathon, deciding to go for it, and only being able to run a mile my first day out.  At that point, a full 26.2 seems absurdly impossible. So I go back to non-running.

I know this is an impractical way of looking at it. I know I need to commit, and have patience, and all that noble stuff.  But let me be honest here – I’m not always that noble.  Instead, I’m human.

I suspect I’m not alone here.

—————————————————————–

Tomorrow I’ll write about Creative Healing.  I’ve been teaching classes on it for a few years now, and am in the process of writing a book on it.  Creative Healing is about the ways we can experience soul without having to sit in utter stillness.

Clearly it calls to me…

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~ by Julianna on January 6, 2009.

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