Effortless Glee – Day 9

Today I released.

In a big, new way.

And when I did, I felt like I was suddenly on an inner tube, floating down a river, spinning and bobbing and gleefully weightless – just going freely as the moving water carried me.

And then my mind would jump in – of course. At first I wouldn’t notice, but then I would, and it felt like I had put the brakes on, dragged myself, and burdened my being with an unwanted weight. So I would toss the weight off, remind myself that I had released all resistance, and return to focusing on my gleeful, weightless, effortless ride.

What fun! I literally was feeling these sensations. Apparently I’m one who feels things rather than ‘sees’ them. You do whatever works for you.

The way I got to this point is an interesting path.

First I cleared my mind, or tried to.

The I focused on my energy, or tried to. Actually, that did work a bit: it definitely slowed me and centered me, but my mind was still moving around.

And my mind came full into this big decision that I need to make today.

And then it occurred to me that I’d already made the decision.  My heart and instinct were already very clear about which way to go – it was just my brain that was holding me back.

Then somehow, something wise inside me noticed this, told my brain we’d already decided.  And then this wise entity told my brain that it was time to let go.

And let go it did. Right down that beautiful river.

And while I was riding, I noticed all the other things I’d been carrying with me, all the pushing and pulling and worrying and wondering – and I decided to let those go as well. As I did, I returned to the sensation of being carried and spun – perfectly safe, and giddy with the ride.

I can still feel it now. And I would love, love, love to carry this feeling with me at all times. Or if I can’t do that, then at least to return as often as I can, and to the memory that this is the way it can be – and arguably this is the way it’s meant to be – as we make our way down our path.

Effortless glee. What a beautiful feeling!


~ by Julianna on January 16, 2009.

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